on my mind

began learning uke last thursday after encountering inspiration, love can be so irrational I don’t understand how people let it happen, picnic picnic picnic, accomplishments or lack thereof, what a crazy month like really July has thus far been quite remarkable and potentially even catalyzing or momentous, really need to urinate, I’ve been hydrating a lot, phew, my thoughts and opinions are so incredibly liable to change it gives me both comfort and apprehension, and I’d say it is true that others’ minds are thus very capable of changing too, Spotify playlists, Such Great Heights is playing and I love this song, Zen buddhism, breathing, meditation, Harmless Harvest serendipity, cabernet sauvignon and cakeballs SIGH, picnic, competence, receipts are littering my desk, Imperative, care is multifarious, hope I don’t drink too much, responsibilities, school, adult life, panic, I think I have the potential to make a decent housewife but I know that that would give me negligible self-satisfaction, the future is terrifying, honesty and sincerity 

For the past few years, the phrase Go with the flow has echoed in my mind, acting as a motto of sorts for better or worse. Following the stream has, in the past and sometimes still now, been a reaction to not knowing which way to go or where I even am. But what I’ve realized is that I value the purposeful decision to change. Above all else, the conscience act of choosing which doors to open and choosing which bridges to save, are much more admirable than just floating endlessly and ineffectually down the stream. As I’m entertaining the ideas of lives worth pursuing, I am learning that this is not one, at least not one for me.

For the past few years, the phrase Go with the flow has echoed in my mind, acting as a motto of sorts for better or worse. Following the stream has, in the past and sometimes still now, been a reaction to not knowing which way to go or where I even am. But what I’ve realized is that I value the purposeful decision to change. Above all else, the conscience act of choosing which doors to open and choosing which bridges to save, are much more admirable than just floating endlessly and ineffectually down the stream. As I’m entertaining the ideas of lives worth pursuing, I am learning that this is not one, at least not one for me.

on my mind

why is this Riesling so good and easy to drink?, in the category of Men Who Are Too Old For Me, I would choose Anthony Bourdain over George Clooney without a second glance back, I think I was a Parisian in a past life if there is such a thing, and also, birds are my spirit animal, many things have been going through my mind which I would like to put into text, but I’m watching Anthony Bourdain eat and drink his way through Paris right now, and this would only be more perfect if this Riesling is French, but alas it’s German but I’m okay with that I guess, ugh commercials

"Chronic dissatisfaction,
that’s what you have.” 

- Maria Elena, Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008)

nicethingsinuglyhandwriting:

It’s not what you like, but what you are like that’s important // Nick Hornby // High Fidelity

nicethingsinuglyhandwriting:

It’s not what you like, but what you are like that’s important // Nick Hornby // High Fidelity

When I’m older and wiser and have figured life out (if possible?), I think that my younger years (now) will be remembered as a series of quarter life crises and missed opportunities occurring in a weird dimension where force is exerted as though it’s an uphill struggle, but the trajectory may in fact be downhill, or not even a hillslope at all?! 

Seasonal Reminder

exoticwild:

What I’m really terrified of is leading an average, ordinary life with a regular job and an invariable routine, planned holidays, an average household, fixed responsibilities and not doing anything different to be remembered by.

Like clockwork, er, at least those clocks of a seasonal variety (?), this fear greets me like a rectangular, black-and-white ONE WAY sign that is coming up, ominously imminent. NO LEFT TURN. KEEP RIGHT. KEEP RIGHT. But no, what if I don’t want to?! Where was that sign about a ROUGH ROAD?  I must’ve missed it. Here, I’ve been YIELDING YIELDING YIELDING, but only because I haven’t decided where to go, and now all the bikers have passed me up. And there seems to be NO ENTRY, everywhere. I mean, I guess I’ll make a RIGHT TURN because, heck, that’s what the instructions were. But, my fear is that it’ll lead me to a DEAD END. 

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